


Waiting For The End

by Qpenguin98



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Angst, Other, i mean really it just brief mentions of the group and mostly those first two, in character? what's that?, kaoru finally brings up his issues with tamaki, thats it thats the whole thing, wow?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2016-07-07
Packaged: 2018-07-22 04:45:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7420450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Qpenguin98/pseuds/Qpenguin98
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You can’t keep everything the same forever.”</p>
<p>He pours the coffee and hands Tamaki a cup.</p>
<p>“And what do you mean by that?” he asks, pouring sugar into his coffee.</p>
<p>“I mean,” Kaoru says bitterly, sipping from his own cup. “That you think you can keep us all together just the same way it’s always been so much that you’re oblivious to how it’s all coming apart.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Waiting For The End

Kaoru watches as Tamaki enters the room with a flourish. There’s something so incredibly simple about the way he greets them all, and yet it’s over done. The way he holds out his hands, closes his eyes, focuses on Haruhi for a moment, and spins. So familiar that it doesn’t surprise anyone anymore, the way he over exaggerates everything.

Kaoru wonders when it’ll all be over.

“So boss,” he starts, “what crazy thing have you got planned for us today?”

“Yeah,” replies his twin. “It’s almost the end of the school year, you have to have something planned.”

“Fear not, young trouble makers. I do have something planned! You’ll just have to wait and see what it is!”

“But Tama-Chan that’s no fun!” says Honey, with a monotone “Yeah” as a back up from Mori.

“Honestly, what could you have planned that I don’t know about?” states Kyoya, which surprises Kaoru. If Kyoya really doesn’t know, then Tamaki must be being incredibly secretive.

Hikaru locks eyes with him, glances at Haruhi, and grins.

“Would it have anything to do,” he begins, locking his arm around Tamaki’s shoulder, as Kaoru finishes and does the same, “With confessing your undying love for your ‘Little Girl?’”

Tamaki’s face goes beet red and Haruhi’s drops all expression, as it does when she’s done dealing with all of them. Kaoru smiles at her.

It’s all so family like.

He’s afraid of what the end of the school year will bring.

“Oh knock it off you two, as if. He’s actually got something really nice planned.”

“So you know?” Kyoya seems surprised.

Kaoru steels himself for the end.

\---

He’s alone in the music room, and it’s strange. There should be someone else there with him, Hikaru at least. But he got Haruhi and him in a conversation and slipped away as it turned into a full frontal argument between the rest of the host members.

It’s quiet, and everything seems far away.

Kaoru knows he’s over reacting, and yet that realization doesn’t seem to faze him. He knew the spell would wear off soon enough, that everything would go back to the way it was.

The carriage turning back into a pumpkin.

It no longer rests on his and Hikaru’s brotherly relationship. The whole set up is falling apart.

In the back of his mind he blames Haruhi, and then mentally slaps himself. It’s no one’s fault, certainly not hers. If anything, she brought them all closer, if only for a brief moment.

He looks at the remains of yesterday’s host activities. A café setting, complete with coffee and pastries. Just the tables are left, a stray coffee pot in the corner.

It’s better, he thinks, for him to be alone like this.

Prepares him for the inevitable.

The host club isn’t doing anything today, so he goes to find the coffee and a cup.

He vaguely hears the door open over the steady drip of the coffee machine.

“Hope you made enough for two,” comes a voice he wouldn’t have expected.

Tamaki stands in the doorway, confused looking. Kaoru goes to grab another cup.

“Hikaru’s been worried, you know.”

“Well, it’s better for us to start to be apart.”

“Is it?”

“You can’t keep everything the same forever.”

He pours the coffee and hands Tamaki a cup.

“And what do you mean by that?” he asks, pouring sugar into his coffee.

“I mean,” Kaoru says bitterly, sipping from his own cup. “That you think you can keep us all together just the same way it’s always been so much that you’re oblivious to how it’s all coming apart.”

“What?” Tamaki sounds hurt and Kaoru can’t look up from the table. “That’s- That’s not what I’m doing!”

“You treat us all like family, and you have since the beginning. I know you didn’t have friends in France so you’re trying to keep us all really close. I know you don’t want to mess things up with Haruhi especially, even though she’s the newest member of the club.”

He looks mildly offended at that and tries to interrupt, but Kaoru just keeps talking.

“Don’t take that personally it’s the entire group that thinks that. And that’s the thing. We’ve all changed because Haruhi came, and I‘m not blaming her, but maybe I am, just a little, because everything would have stayed the same. You would stay our leader and tell Kyoya everything before you bothered doing it, because he’s your voice of reason, and now Haruhi’s here, and she’s the one that knows about your big plan for the end of the year and it’s so different. Everything’s changed, Tamaki, and there’s no way to get it back. You can’t keep everything the same because it’s already fucking broken!”

His voice, ironically, breaks on the last word. He’s trying to blink back his tears as he stares at Tamaki. He looks like he never saw this coming, and it infuriates him.

“Don’t act like you didn’t know! You had to. How could you not know you were holding us all together? In your magic spell that kept everything good. We’re all family and now it’s ending.”

“Kaoru, I’m not-”

“Of course not. Of course you didn’t realize that everything was changing.” The tears finally slip down his face and he grips at his coffee cup so hard that it breaks in his hands. Blood mixes with coffee and he doesn’t move his hands.

There’s towels on the mess and towels on his hand pressing and dabbing. Kaoru bites his lip.

“Are you okay?”

He nods and takes the towel from Tamaki. It’s not bad, barely even bleeding anymore. He holds his fists around the fabric anyway.

“I know things are changing, I’m not that oblivious.”

He glances at Tamaki, who’s still cleaning up the mess of coffee and cup.

“And I know that _you’re_ scared to separate from Hikaru. And the rest of the group for that matter.”

Kaoru can’t help but laugh. Most of what he said was about himself and it seems like Tamaki caught onto that.

“What did you think was going to happen when Honey and Mori graduated? Before Haruhi came?”

“I… wasn’t thinking about that then but now, now it’s glaring me in the face.”

Tamaki smiles. “Neither was I. But it’s almost here, isn’t it? They’re leaving soon.”

Kaoru just nods. He doesn’t know what he expected to get out of telling him off. It hasn’t made him feel any better.

“And what about you and Hikaru? You’re always attached at the hip.”

“What we are isn’t healthy. We’ve become so dependent on each other that we’re barely two separate people. We’re not gonna be able to stay like this.”

“And yet you don’t want that to happen.”

“Of course not! He’s, we’re, I’m not ready but that doesn’t matter because he is and I just need to push him a little and he’ll be gone and out in the world and I’ll just be. Here.”

“It sounds like you need to talk to your brother.”

Tamaki is never this calm about anything, and it’s kind of unnerving.

“Kaoru?”

“I know but…”

“Talking to people is hard. But you have to. Because even though you say that you and Hikaru aren’t healthy, this as an alternative isn’t either. Sitting alone with your feelings waiting for someone to blame?”

He feels numb as he nods his head, and Tamaki just smiles.

“Let’s go back, alright?”

They stand up together and Kaoru follows Tamaki out into the hallway.

As he closes the door, it doesn’t feel so final.

**Author's Note:**

> wowie  
> ill probably add on to that ending with the big plans later, but i wanted to get this out before work  
> why do i always write for dead fandoms  
> whoops


End file.
